snuffleupagus has a cold

Brian’s had a cold this week and no one has been sleeping…. Trying to sleep when Brian has a cold…… It’s like trying to sleep next to a drunken snuffleupagus.  He snorts and snores and flails around.  Boo and the cats have abandoned Brian’s side of the bed and huddled on mine… which is totally unheard of, because apparently I can’t produce my own body heat, so the cats prefer Brian.  Also, he remembers to feed them at regular intervals…. so…. whatever….

Last night… after a week of Mr. Snuffleupagus snuffling, coughing and snoring he finally stopped snoring.

I’m pretty sure that I’ve spent my entire life listening to people breath while they sleep….. while I don’t sleep….

I was probably 3… maybe 4… Mom was having an asthma attack… mostly, I remember the end of the attack… Mom working to convince her lungs to stop trying to kill her.  Sitting in the dark living room… Mom wrapped in an orange quilt… drinking coffee?  Dozing beside her as her breathing eased and quieted… Starting awake because I couldn’t hear her breathing anymore.  Learning that Mom didn’t like to be poked (gently)… just to make sure that she was still alive.

Not sleeping while listening to people/puppies breathe has become one of my hangups…. Bailey, my Pomeranian who had seizures… Boo, my Pomeranian who does this weird reverse sneeze thing…. and snores (basically just to screw with me) and now Brian…..

Since sleeping wasn’t likely anyway, I’d been reading a book (Hyperbole and a Half by Allie Brosh… freaking hilarious!) so I noticed when Brian switched from bone jarring snores to soft rattles….to … nothing…..

“Brian,” I whispered.


“Brian…” I poked his arm just a little.

Still nothing.

I poked his arm just a little harder… sorta like a slap… but… a gentle one…. “Brian, are you alive?!”

Brian jerked awake, “Hunh, what?!”

“Nothing, Baby.  Everything’s fine.. go back to sleep.”

Good thing I was there to keep an eye on him.   He’s so lucky.




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